June 30th, 2022
Episode 174: Don’t Use These Terms! Words and Phrases to Avoid When Getting Divorced with Christina McGhee
Christina McGhee is back on the show! She joins me to talk about the language we use around divorce, co-parenting, and raising our children. The language we use can be damaging to our children, so this is such an important conversation to have and I hope you get a lot out of listening to it. In fact, even as a professional in this space, I have recently learned how to shift my language about divorce topics. Words matter and the way we convey our ideas do too.
Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. Whether she is speaking, coaching, or writing her goal is to disrupt the status quo, and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways.
Show Highlights
- The way we talk about co-parenting with children by using the term “visitation” and why it’s a terrible term to use
- When parents focus on what’s “fair” for them, children internalize that their actions must be “fair” in order to make their parents feel ok
- What is wrong with the word custody, how it affects children, and why parenting time is a better term to use
- When we talk about equitable time-sharing arrangements, we are talking about equal responsibility, plus Christina talks about the off-duty and on-duty parenting model
- Why treating time with children as a commodity (50/50, 60/40, etc.) is damaging
- What is wrong with referring to your co-parent as your ex
Learn more about Christina McGhee:
Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. While splitting up is undeniably hard, Christina believes divorce doesn’t have to equal devastation for families. She feels with the right kind of information and support, parents have the ability to be a child’s absolute best resource when families change.
Throughout her career, she has educated both parents and professionals on how to minimize the impact of divorce on children. In her book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids, Christina offers parents useful strategies for dealing with the “real-life” everyday challenges of co-parenting.
One of her core beliefs is that divorce doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a parent going through a bad time. Because she is passionate about helping parents get through that bad time, Christina also maintains an active coaching practice that allows her to work with Moms and Dads all over the world.
Most recently, Christina launched an online program, Coparenting with Purpose. Designed to provide moms and dads with an easy, convenient way to access critical information, it’s filled with practical tools and solutions for managing the most common co-parenting problems.
Additionally, she has contributed to several other media projects as a featured expert, a content consultant, and a writer/producer. Currently, she serves as a consulting producer and subject matter expert for the documentaries SPLIT: A film for kids and their parents and Split UP: The Teen Years, two compelling films that let kids know they’re not alone and normalize the many feelings and experiences children and teens encounter when parents part.
Over the years, she has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, and in print around the US and abroad. A few places you may have seen her are TODAY Parents, the BBC, The Times, and Parents Magazine.
Married for over twenty-seven years, Christina and her husband live outside of Houston, Texas. As a mom of four (two bonus and two bio) children, she has acquired extensive on-the-job training as a chauffeur, negotiator, short-order cook, scheduler extraordinaire, and finder of all things lost. To find out more, check her out at divorceandchildren.com.
Resources & Links:
Christina’s website
Christina on Facebook
Christina on Instagram
Christina on LinkedIn
Split: A Film for Kids of Divorce (and their Parents) with Ellen Bruno
A Kid With Two Homes with Bella Duncan
SPLIT
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM