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I'm willing to bet You’re smart, successful, and strong in so many aspects of your life, my love.

You likely have incredible kids and work hard in your chosen career, whether that’s working outside the home, or staying home to raise your children.

Everything might look good on the outside — perfect even — but, if you’re reading this, I’m guessing that you (like so many other women) are living with a secret stress and shame, the weight of which is starting to pull you under.

You’re miserable in your marriage and you don’t know what to do.

Your husband might tell you that you’re the problem, and you know there are things you could work on, but are you really the whole problem? Isn’t it supposed to be 50/50?

Maybe you keep reading about narcissism and you secretly wonder if your husband might be a narcissist.

But if he is, then what does that make you?

How on earth did you get here?

This is all so confusing!

 

Oh, love. I get it. Boy oh boy do I get it. and i'm here to help

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I’m Kate Anthony

…host of the New York Times recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, and a certified divorce coach who helps women (with children, especially) decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages – and then either helps them heal their relationships, or exit with grace.

For the last decade I’ve worked with hundreds of women all over the world, helping them make the most difficult decision of their lives and transition out of toxic marriages.

But most importantly, I've been exactly where you are now.

To put it bluntly, my marriage was toxic AF.

I was told that if I was just a better communicator, if I was just smarter, skinnier, taller, prettier, funnier, took more responsibility, lowered my voice, raised my boobs, shrunk my hips, did more crafts, had more sex, cooked more, had more interesting hobbies, then I’d be “enough” — and my marriage would work.

And so I tried.

I tried harder and harder, bending myself into ever more complex pretzels — but nothing seemed to work, and there was always something else I felt I had to do. Someone else I felt I had to be.

And by the end of a decade-long relationship, I was a shell of my former self – lost, confused, and scared – and pretty sure I’d never be able to make it on my own.

Spoiler: I WAS. And I did.

And with my help, so can you, my love.

I’ve spent the last 20 years in deep recovery, and the last decade helping women all over the world just like you heal from codependent relationships, decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages, and, if necessary, guide them through the process of divorce, putting their children at the center—not in the middle—of all their decisions.

In a nutshell, I help women get out of and heal from toxic and emotionally abusive marriages.

Here’s the cold, hard truth, my love:

While approximately 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 68% of second marriages also end in divorce, and 74% of third marriages do too.

All of my work has one goal: to help you heal from your past so you don’t repeat patterns — and so you protect your kids from generations-long cycles of codependency and abuse. 

If any of this sounds familiar, you, my love, are in the right place.

Choose-your-own adventure time:

If you want help figuring out if you should stay or go

If you’re already sure you’re getting a divorce, and want to know how to go about all the logistics

Wherever you are in your journey, I promise there is help — and who better to provide that help than an experienced professional with more than a decade’s worth of experience, who’s walked this same path and come out stronger and more powerful because of it?

That’s me: Your Divorce Survival Guide.

RANDOM (AND POSSIBLY COOL) THINGS YOU MIGHT WANNA KNOW ABOUT ME:

  • I’m divorced (duh) and share custody 50/50 with my ex.
  • My ex and I have forged a healthy friendship, and he, my son, and I are now in a band together! (#thankspandemic)
  • I was raised in New York City in the 1970s and 80s. It’s not as glamorous as it sounds.
  • I was an actor for more than 30 years, starting with five years on Sesame Street and ending with five years on Grey’s Anatomy, with a lot of work in theatre and television in between. (Yes, I spent a lot of time with McDreamy.)
  • My dad changed my diaper in the Oval Office under Nixon, and left my poop-filled diaper in the trash can under Nixon’s desk. We’re all really proud of that.
  • I have a photographic memory for where shit is. I’ve never lost an earring, an earring back, or a sock in the dryer (#truestory), and I can find ALL the Lego pieces.
  • I am obsessed with true-crime shows and know more about serial killers than anyone really should. I’ve literally seen every episode of Dateline and Law & Order: SVU ever made.
  • I have a dream to have my entire bathroom filled with inappropriate and dirty cross-stitches. I will happily receive any you have to send!

A note about women’s empowerment in today’s world:

At my core, I’m a coach who empowers women. And I gotta be honest and tell you that this is a pretty intense time to be in the women’s empowerment business, especially in the divorce arena.

Because at the end of the day, women’s empowerment is directly linked to feminism.

And at its core, feminism is about the eradication of the patriarchal systems that oppress women. 

And all of those systems have their roots deeply entrenched in white supremacy.

And what does this have to do with your marriage?

Fucking everything.

Overwhelmingly I’ve spent the last decade helping women get out of toxic and abusive marriages that are a direct reflection of the political landscape in which we find ourselves right now, where women’s rights are constantly on the chopping block, from the wage and income gap to the choices we are “allowed” to make about our own bodies. 

And all of the issues women face are exponentially worse for BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) women

— because white supremacy.

 

The rise of aggressive (usually white) men overtly exerting power and control over women — including and especially in their intimate relationships — can be pretty evenly charted with the rise of more overt expressions of white supremacy in our nation and the world. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t going away anytime soon, especially in the U.S.A. 

It’s more important than ever that we uncover these patterns in our own lives so we can dismantle them in the world around us, in our communities, and at the ballot boxes. 

“No one is free until we are all free.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
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