Episode 127: The Do’s and Don’ts of Couples Therapy with Meredith Shirey

This week I am talking with Meredith Shirey about the do’s and don’ts of therapy – individual and couples therapy alike. Meredith is licensed in New York and Tennessee as a Marriage and Family Therapist, is a Clinical Fellow member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and founder of Meredith Shirey Marriage and Family Therapy, PLLC.

In this episode we explore the complexities of therapy including how to know if you should explore individual therapy versus couples therapy, how being disingenuous can sabotage your goals for therapy, codependency, and so much more.

Show Highlights

  • When to choose to go to individual therapy versus couples therapy. (6:46)
  • Why you should have a consultation with a therapist you’re interested in potentially working with and talk about your options. (7:06)
  • When going to couples therapy, be sure your therapist is trained specifically in working with couples. (7:55)
  • Do you feel like you’re going to be able to be completely honest about what you need and how you’re feeling in front of your partner and the therapist? If the answer is no, don’t do couples therapy. (10:08)
  • What to do when you are in therapy and know your partner is not being honest. (24:30)
  • The stigma around codependency. (26:56)
  • How to get to the point where you are ready to say, “I want to take back my power and create a strategy for myself that focuses on me instead of my partner’s issues.”  (34:06)
  • The do’s and don’ts of couples therapy. (36:23)

Learn More About Meredith:

Meredith is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in relationally-based issues, and the founder of her NYC based private practice. She is a host of the podcast, “Love Me or Leave Me,” and a Topic Expert for Goodtherapy.org. She has written for numerous platforms and has contributed to articles featured on The New York Times, Today.com, and NBC.com on guidelines for difficult conversations, communication tips for couples, and guidance for couples planning to cohabitate or marry.  

Meredith’s approach to psychotherapy is an integrated approach that includes Attachment theory, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, with notes of Psychodynamic theory. She values a holistic approach and understanding how the past impacts what we experience in the present. 

Resources & Links:

Meredith’s website
Meredith on Facebook
Meredith on Instagram
Meredith’s podcast, Love Me or Leave Me
Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate’s Program)
DSG Episode: How to Choose a Good Therapist


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