The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episode #234

Healing from Relationship Betrayal

Episode 234: Healing from Relationship Betrayal with Michelle Mays

with Michelle Mays

About This Episode

Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, joins me for an in-depth conversation about healing from betrayal. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is also the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia, outside of DC.

“Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common,  it doesn’t mean they’re not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health,” says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury.

Learn more about Michelle Mays:

Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She’s also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.

Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

  • A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (8:58)
  • Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:01)
  • What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:43)
  • Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (45:02)
  • The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (50:21)

Disclaimer

The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

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