March 16th, 2023
65-75% of women say they would get divorced if they could, but the fear of post-separation abuse and the court system often prevent them from leaving unequal relationships. And quite frankly, women are fed up, and we have every right to be. Zawn Villines, a feminist activist and writer, joins me for a conversation about misogyny in motherhood and marriage; and how to start advocating for yourself and the women around you. Through her work, Zawn argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women’s lives and futures.
In this episode, Zawn and I talk about the division of labor in a marriage, how to communicate openly about creating a shared partnership early on in your relationship, and what to do if you are in a marriage where your partner isn’t participating in parenting and other responsibilities equally. I am such a fan of Zawn’s work, and in fact, I share it all the time. I am thrilled to have her on the show!
Featured topics include:
- Zawn describes her background as a feminist and how she came to focus on issues of inequality in marriage and motherhood (1:42)
- If you are going to be in a long-term relationship with someone, it should be passionate, romantic, full of love, and also a real partnership (5:02)
- Zawn describes her viral Facebook post about men not contributing enough in heterosexual relationships and the response she received from it (10:17)
- Why it is imperative we create parenting standards that apply to both parents (25:37)
- A bad husband who abuses his partner is not a good dad, plain and simple (26:33)
- Productive conversations about household labor involve acknowledging it is work and stepping up when necessary (37:28)
- Marriage shouldn’t feel exhausting from putting in too much work; it should be a happy, fulfilling partnership (43:43)
Learn more about Zawn Villines:
Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women’s lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities.
Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy.
Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization.
She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance.
Resources & Links:
Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A Session
Retreat with Kate
Grit & Grace Coaching Program
Subscribe to Zawn’s newsletter!
Zawn on Facebook
Zawn on Instagram
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
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