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How To Do Holidays In Divorce

Holidays in divorce can suck holy hell. There’s the loneliness factor, the confusion factor, the “Fuck-do-I-really-have-to-collaborate-with-the-one-person-who-stresses-me-out-the-most?” factor. There’s the who’s-traveling-when factor, the “But-will-I-still-get-to-see-my-in-laws?” factor, the “Who-do-I-buy-presents-for-now?” factor. And the worst factor of all: Will I wake up alone on Christmas morning? While I can’t answer all of these questions for you specifically, there are a few ways you can make […]

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Are You Staying In Your Marriage For Your Kids?

One of the most common reasons people stay in miserable marriages is for their children. When I was trying to decide whether to stay or go my husband and I were in couples therapy,  group couples therapy (yes, that’s a thing).I was also in my own therapy  with another therapist, as was my husband.  And we were both in 12-Step […]

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How the Litigation System is Designed to Screw You

Whether your split is amicable or not, if you’re separating from a mentally stable, otherwise reasonable person, there are steps you can take to keep it from going completely off the rails. Conversely, there are ways that the system is set up to be sure that it does… and all those ways benefit the system itself. When I first split […]

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Four Steps To A Harmonious Divorce

This is my 4-step process for having a harmonious divorce. This is not magic, nor is it possible in all cases. It will require hard work, but if both parties are willing, this process can be collaborative, rather than combative. Step 1 – Find a good coach or therapist I once met a man who had been separated for about […]

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How To Be An Effective Coparent in Divorce

While I originally wrote this piece for single moms and divorce, it is just as pertinent to all parents. Read between the lines… Let’s face it, co-parenting in divorce can be a bitch. I mean, you divorced this person, right? Which means that you likely had a really hard time communicating, sharing values, not scratching each other’s eyes out with […]

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