Whether you made this decision or it was made for you, here you are. So what do you do now? Lawyer up, right? 🙅🏼‍♀️ Wrong 🙅🏼‍♀️ “Lawyer up” is the most dangerous advice you can take from anyone, especially someone who doesn’t know the ins and outs of your specific marriage and divorce. As soon as you “lawyer up” you […]
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I remember my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce. My ex had a girlfriend, and the guy I’d been seeing had dumped me a month before on a trip to Big Bear, hours before having to drive down the windy mountain in a rainstorm. We hadn’t had breakfast (because get me the fuck off this mountain), and I’m really sensitive […]
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After our divorce, while we each dated other people, my ex and I still did holidays together, went to the theatre together, and had family dinners together. After all we’d been through we were now close, and as he began to date I took on the awkward yet esteemed role of First Wife. I’d befriend his girlfriends. Partly because it […]
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Co-Parenting Divorce Single Motherhood
Recently an anonymous reader asked: My son often asks for his daddy. I don’t know what to say to him. It breaks my heart because I’ve done everything I can to bridge the gap and encourage his father to be a part of his life. But he’s totally absent. Only visits maybe 20hrs a month sometimes less. Can you give […]
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Many moms tell me that their ex simply won’t collaborate with them. It breaks my heart to see people who are otherwise mentally stable, intelligent people refuse to put their own resentments aside in service of what might truly be best for their children. {I also have a lot of women come to me who are divorcing malignant narcissists, and […]
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Co-Parenting Divorce Motherhood
When I became pregnant, I had just lost my job managing a successful fitness studio that was being financially mismanaged. I was also an actor, and while I still had to have a day-job (as most of us do), I’d been doing pretty well in theatre and television most of my life. I started my acting career when I was […]
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Holidays in divorce can suck holy hell. There’s the loneliness factor, the confusion factor, the “Fuck-do-I-really-have-to-collaborate-with-the-one-person-who-stresses-me-out-the-most?” factor. There’s the who’s-traveling-when factor, the “But-will-I-still-get-to-see-my-in-laws?” factor, the “Who-do-I-buy-presents-for-now?” factor. And the worst factor of all: Will I wake up alone on Christmas morning? While I can’t answer all of these questions for you specifically, there are a few ways you can make […]
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One of the most common reasons people stay in miserable marriages is for their children. When I was trying to decide whether to stay or go my husband and I were in couples therapy, group couples therapy (yes, that’s a thing).I was also in my own therapy with another therapist, as was my husband. And we were both in 12-Step […]
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Whether your split is amicable or not, if you’re separating from a mentally stable, otherwise reasonable person, there are steps you can take to keep it from going completely off the rails. Conversely, there are ways that the system is set up to be sure that it does… and all those ways benefit the system itself. When I first split […]
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This is my 4-step process for having a harmonious divorce. This is not magic, nor is it possible in all cases. It will require hard work, but if both parties are willing, this process can be collaborative, rather than combative. Step 1 – Find a good coach or therapist I once met a man who had been separated for about […]
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