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Should I stay or should I go?

Should you stay or should you go?

You’re terrified, broken-hearted, and desperate for answers.

You’ve consulted oracles and spirit guides and journaled to death about whether or not to leave your marriage.

You’ve taken all the classes, read all the books, and listened to all the podcasts.

But you’re still idling in neutral at the fork in the road unsure which path to take — and you really want to know which path will do the least damage to your kids.

Oh love, I totally get it – and am here to help.
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When I was in the depths of despair struggling to decide whether or not to leave my marriage, I wanted a burning bush; I wanted someone, or something, to tell me clearly, “it’s time to go,” or “stay and you’ll get through this.” 

I desperately wanted to protect my son from the fallout of a divorce, but I wasn’t sure if I was doing more damage by staying in my toxic marriage.

What I know now is that, instead of a burning bush, what I really needed was a system.

There was an enormous stack of emotional boxes at my feet, and I needed someone to  help me sort through them.

Like a Marie Kondo for my life.

 

But of course back in 2008, nothing like that existed.

And since it didn’t exist for me, it became my life’s mission to create it for you.

Welcome to:

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

THE ONLY online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.

In this groundbreaking online coaching program that’s already been taken by hundreds of women, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer your most burning question:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

And while you’ll be doing the work in the privacy of your own home or office, at your own pace, you’ll be supported by a community of bad-ass fierce AF women who are doing it virtually alongside you. 

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Kate is like a good friend who tells you like it is, no holds barred but in a kind way. It's like having a knowledgeable big sister/girlfriend who is on the other side telling you the stuff that you need to know to get yourself together and move on with your life so you can thrive not just survive. Friends keep saying that they can't believe how calm I am and how much I have already learned from just working my way through the program.

- E.K.

There is no other coaching program out there designed to answer this specific question, backed by an in-depth study of marriage and human psychology.

There is no other coaching program out there created by someone who’s walked this path or has such a breadth and depth of experience helping women successfully chart – and travel – the road to freedom.

freedom

Freedom

from doubt and confusion

freedom

Freedom

from constant worry and the swirl of indecision

freedom

Freedom

from a history of unhealthy and toxic relationships

The cold, hard truth is this, my love:

While approximately 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 68% of second marriages also end in divorce, and 74% of third marriages do too.

What this means is that people aren’t doing the deep work on themselves to figure out what went wrong the first time around; they’re simply trading out partners and repeating unhealthy patterns over and over and over again.

So, while this program will help you answer this important question, it isn’t just about figuring out if you should stay or go.

 

It’s about making sure you heal from your past so that you make healthy choices from a place of deep self-worth — and not repeat unhealthy relationship choices and patterns well into your future.

Doesn’t that sound fucking amazing?

I had no direction or idea why my life had become so unmanageable before starting this course with Kate. I have learnt so much about myself and my relationships, it has given me direction, strength and an abundance of resources, I will be forever grateful to Kate and the women I went on this journey with.

- S.B.

This program is TOTALLY for you if:

  • You’re a mom who’s been questioning whether or not to leave your marriage for so long that it’s starting to weigh on you. Heavily. (Even if you’re not a mom, this program is for you!)
  • You’re smart AF, successful in all sorts of ways and tired of carrying around this secret pain you’re unable to ‘solve’.
  • You’re pretty sure you bear some responsibility in all this mess, but it’s really hard for you to sort through it all because what you’re being told by your husband doesn’t line up with how you feel.
  • You already know this needs to end, and need the strength or confidence to make the move.
  • You’ve done therapy or coaching, or regularly consume personal development content (books, podcasts, etc.) and are ready to do some deep work and move theory into action.
  • You’re worried you might be being abused, and are concerned about what that might be doing to your kids.
  • You have an open mind and are willing to dig deeply and uncover things that might challenge and confront you.
  • You’re already a fan of The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and follow me on social media and you know I’m your kinda chick.

On the other hand, this program is NOT for you if:

  • You’re currently being physically abused. If this is the case, I urge you to contact your local DV shelter and get help immediately.
  • You’re looking for a quick fix. This program is deep, rigorous and will ask a lot of you. This is the hardest question you’ll ever answer in your life, and it deserves your full and deep attention.
  • You’re convinced it’s all his fault and if he’d just do what you tell him to do, everything would be fine.
  • You’re not willing or able to commit 2-4 hours per week. It’s my commitment that all women who go through this program are deeply transformed by it. If you don’t have the time to commit to it, that simply won’t happen.
  • You want one-on-one attention and coaching. (If that’s you, private coaching is probably a better option.)
  • You’re anti-gay, anti-diversity, and anti-feminist. We’re gonna get deep into this shit, and it’s important that you’re open-minded on the topic. (And yes, it’s relevant. More than you may think.)
  • You’re bothered by swearing. 

 

Hi, have you fucking met me?

BY THE END OF YOUR JOURNEY YOU WILL:

  • Have unshakeable self-esteem, confidence, and self-love
  • Know what’s yours, what’s his, and exactly what to do with that information
  • Know how to have super-hard conversations without crumbling under the pressure 
  • Understand yourself in a way that uncovers and explains some of the mismatches you’ve been feeling in your marriage
  • Understand how modern culture is affecting ALL of our relationships today — and what to do about it
  • Know for sure if you’re being emotionally abused or gaslit, and gain the strength and confidence to walk away safely if so
  • Have a clear map of your personal relationship and parenting history so you can rewrite your story moving forward
  • Break generations-long cycles and free your children and grandchildren from the toxicity of your past
  • Know what might lie on the other side so you can make your decision empowered with knowledge and clear understanding

But most of all, you will have absolute clarity about whether you should stay in your marriage or move towards divorce — and feel completely supported by our incredibly community either way.

Are you ready to finally get the answers you’re looking for?
Join now for $497, or three payments of $197

Enroll Now
Better and worth more than nearly all of the money I've spent in therapy...For real.

- TS

WHAT'S INCLUDED

  • 6 modules of eye-opening, life-changing content delivered on a password-protected e-learning platform for your privacy and security
  • A vast library of training videos that provide transformational content in digestible, educational, expansive ways
  • Accompanying worksheets to deepen your personal learning
  • A podcast-like audio feed of all videos so you can take your learning on the go and never lose your place
  • A resource library overflowing with links to books, podcasts, and articles that will take your learning to new levels
  • A private, client-only Facebook community where you can ask questions, share experiences, and get (and give) support

Should I Stay or Should I Go? is broken down into six main modules:

INTRODUCTION:

The very first thing I cover in this program is whether or not you should stay in your marriage for your kids. I break down the true scientific research and bust all the myths. You can proceed with the rest of the program without this heavy question weighing on your soul. 

 

 

 

 

 

MODULE ONE: WHO ARE YOU?

In this module we’ll dig deeply into your belief systems, values, inner critic and guide. We’ll learn about healthy boundaries and attachment styles. We’re building unshakable self-esteem and confidence, learning how our core values and communication styles may not align with our spouse’s and uncovering what, if anything, we might be able to do about that.

If this information doesn’t help save your marriage, it will help in the process of healing and strengthening your root system so you become as strong, healthy and vibrant as you can possibly be. It will also completely transform the model for motherhood your kids get to be raised with. #winning

MODULE TWO: HOW YOU LEARNED TO LOVE

In this module we’ll look at the ways our childhood experiences may have impacted the way we give and receive love. We’re looking at your Attachment Styles and Love Languages, as well as how you love yourself.

Past participants have said that the work in this section was completely eye-opening and helped them begin to heal their fractured relationships — mostly with themselves!


MODULE THREE: WHY ARE WOMEN SO EXHAUSTED?

This module begins with a deep dive into toxic masculinity and male entitlement, but not before we break down all the things that are #NotYourFuckingJob. We also go deep on the dangers of women giving up financial independence, and how the #patriarchy is working to make marriages super-awesome for men, and super-sucky for women.

I also answer the pressing and common question: He’s FINE; Why can’t I just be happy??

MODULE FOUR: UNDERSTANDING ABUSE

In this module we explore the numerous forms of abuse and how each one may show up in your marriage (even if you’re not aware of it), as well as how addiction, infidelity, and mental illness impact even the happiest of marriages.

What should you do if you’ve been betrayed? Can you ever get that trust back? Does sobriety solve all problems? Am I the abuser? Is he a narcissist, or just an asshole? 

All these questions (and so many more) are answered in this module. Don’t skip it.

MODULE FIVE: HEALING AND MOVING FORWARD

In this module we go deep into therapy: what makes a good therapist, and how to choose one. We also answer the important question about whether or not you should go to therapy with your spouse, and the three circumstances in which it should be avoided at all costs.

We talk about emotional regulation and grounding, as well as grief, nostalgia, and letting go.

SPECIAL BONUS: My 90-minute Tackling Codependency workshop, absolutely free!!

MODULE SIX: IS THE GRASS REALLY GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE?

So often when trying to make this difficult decision people want to know what it’s really like on the other side. If we’re just trading one set of problems for a new set, are the problems we know better than the ones we don’t? In this module we uncover what it’s really like on the other side, from dating after divorce, cultural and religious isolation, and answer the biggest question of all, “Will I be alone forever?”

I also discuss some of the very good reasons to stay, even if your marriage is a complete shit-show (violence excluded).

And in the course completion I give you a bundle of resources for staying and going. One bundle to help heal your fractured marriage, and one bundle to move forward with leaving, putting your kids at the center — and never in the middle — of your divorce process. In either event, I have you covered.

If you’re not really a DIY kinda person, and would prefer a more hands-on coaching experience, click here to learn more about how I work privately with women all over the world.

PRIVATE COACHING
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I was hesitant to enroll in SISOSIG because I was so unsure of everything, but every single module, every video, every worksheet helped me tremendously. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’m a different person than I was when I started this program.

- SC

OK WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS!

Lucky for you, I have all the answers!

This program is self-paced, but I strongly recommend you dedicate 2-4 hours each week to diving into the content. If you go too slowly, you’ll lose momentum. If you move too quickly you may miss the opportunity for important concepts to really sink in. Go at your own pace; you’re your own best judge! (And your Inner Guide will help you with this!)

YES! If you already know you want to go, this program is DEFINITELY for you. It will help you uncover how you got here in the first place and heal so you don’t repeat patterns that have likely followed you for decades. (Remember that 68% of second marriages end in divorce, as do 74% of third marriages. This program will help you avoid that!)

Nope. I’ve had clients stay in their marriages, a few of them really happily. This course will give you clarity. It will give you information and tools that you can take home and put to work to save your marriage right away. If you have a willing partner, and if too much water hasn’t gone under the bridge, you can absolutely save your marriage by doing this work.

I’ve tried to make this work as accessible as possible with the privacy constraints of my clients top of mind. Every lesson in this program is available to watch as a video and also listen to as a podcast-style audio feed.

You may have to get creative and get out of the house for a couple of hours a week. You may have to tell a white lie and say you’re taking a ceramics class. Past participants have done the work on their lunch breaks at work and attended weekly calls from their cars. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Unfortunately, due to the constraints of financial institutions, my name will appear on your credit card statement, and different banks surface different information (which, unfortunately , is totally out of my control).

If you’re worried about your husband googling my name and seeing who I am and what I do, I suggest asking a friend or family member to put the charge on their card and giving them cash or taking out a card in your name just for this purchase.

Unfortunately I cannot make special arrangements like this, otherwise I’d spend my life managing other people’s finances, rather than creating the content you’ve come to rely on from me. If it means a lot to you, you’ll find a way.

As one client said, “This is better, and worth more, than all the money I’ve spent on therapy!”

I like to think of it like this: Therapy digs into your past to try to understand how and why you think, feel, and act the way you do. It is introspective and clarifying.

Coaching, on the other hand, moves you forward into a future of your own design. Sure, there’s some past-digging to do, because usually the things that block us have to do with stuff we’ve been through, or stories we’ve made up about ourselves due to past experiences. But overall coaching is actionable and transformational.

I’ve had a number of clients who’ve been in therapy for years but got to a place where they thought, “OK, yeah, I get it all, but now what??” I find these clients to be my biggest success stories, and the ones who make the biggest leaps in the shortest period of time, saying things like “Wow. In all my years of therapy, I never felt such huge shifts.”

I find the most effective process usually includes both therapy and coaching, or some combination of the two.

Our group is PRIVATE. This means that people who are not in the group can search for it and see that it exists, but they WILL NOT be able to see who’s IN the group, other than moderators and admins. While posts will show up in your personal Facebook feed, they are not visible to ANYONE outside the group. This means that ONLY those who are in the group will be able to see what’s posted there. So yes. It is private.

Every woman joining this program is in the same boat and worried about their confidentiality as well, so I find that trust comes naturally. The Facebook group is run with rigor. If anything is shared outside the group, the violator will be removed from the community and the program immediately, with no refund offered. I’ve never had an issue with that, but I have built this precaution in just in case.

Ready to get on board and change your life?

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"Honestly I can't say enough about how much it is SO worth it. The topics covered in here are things I learned in marriage counseling, years of listening to marriage podcasts and blogs, etc.... and it's all right here in manageable chunks. If you find that you do want to go, you will be able to see why SO much more clearly and walk away with a lot less guilt. But if you decide to stay; this program will equip you and make your marriage stronger, healthier, and more honest. This program is basically years of marriage counseling condensed. But also it's at least a year of personal counseling, also condensed.I got through personal counseling so much faster by working through this program.”

- AM