Episode 268: Reinventing Yourself After Divorce: Nikki Spo on Self-Discovery and Empowerment

Oftentimes, we wrap our identities in this one thing – like marriage. What happens when it’s over?  This week, Nikki Spoelstra (Nikki Spo) joins me to discuss the transformative power of self-discovery through life’s most challenging moments.

Nikki and I cover a range of important topics, including how self-esteem is built through self-knowledge, strategies for managing thoughts about divorce, emphasizing the importance of setting limits on dwelling on the past, and so much more. Nikki is a breath of fresh air for women going through hard times. 

Join us as we discuss the intricate process of reinventing oneself after significant life changes, the importance of self-acceptance, and the journey to finding joy and worth within.

Featured topics:

  • Nikki answers, “How did you reinvent yourself?” TLDR: “You do so, even when you’re scared as shit.” (7:18)
  • Self-esteem is built through self-knowledge. (22:02)
  • Apologizing is not the same thing as making amends. (26:11)
  • Romanticizing friendships with your ex/co-parent: Don’t compare your divorce or co-parenting relationship to others. It may evolve differently or stay the same forever. (29:59(
  • Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting. (31:33)
  • A reminder that you get to be the owner of your story, and people don’t have to know all the details about your relationships or divorce (38:19)

Learn more about Nikki Spo:

Nikki Spoelstra is the host of The Know with Nikki Spo – a globally top-ranked podcast that highlights the stories of individuals who are finding and celebrating their deepest sense of inner knowing in a space where it’s not about knowing everything, but about coming to know ourselves.

Covering topics that range from motherhood and business to wellness and self-care, The Know with Nikki Spo has been nominated for the People’s Choice Podcast Award and is up for two coveted Gracie Awards, which honor exceptional women in podcasting and journalism.

Nikki is a single mom of three, has overcome tough life experiences with ferocity and grace, and is a compelling speaker of truths.

Resources & Links:

Private Coaching with Kate
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Nikki’s Podcast The Know with Nikki Spo
Nikki’s website
Nikki on Instagram @nikkisappspo


DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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It’s a place to get faster clarity, strategic guidance in real time, and support while you move through the legal, emotional, and logistical realities of divorce—so you’re not trying to figure it all out alone.

Divorce is hard.

High-conflict divorce is a different beast.

Phoenix Rising gives you the strategy, support, and community you need to navigate divorce with more clarity, confidence, and steadiness. You don’t have to figure this out alone.