I remember my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce. My ex had a girlfriend, and the guy I’d been seeing had dumped me a month before on a trip to Big Bear, hours before having to drive down the windy mountain in a rainstorm. We hadn’t had breakfast (because get me the fuck off this mountain), and I’m really sensitive […]
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After our divorce, while we each dated other people, my ex and I still did holidays together, went to the theatre together, and had family dinners together. After all we’d been through we were now close, and as he began to date I took on the awkward yet esteemed role of First Wife. I’d befriend his girlfriends. Partly because it […]
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I just binge-watched Big Little Lies, and holy crap is it as good as everyone said it was. I was a little bit of a snot about it since I’d read the book years ago, and screen adaptations of books tend to leave a devoted reader feeling less than satisfied, but in this case, the tv series blew the book […]
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Co-Parenting Divorce Single Motherhood
Recently an anonymous reader asked: My son often asks for his daddy. I don’t know what to say to him. It breaks my heart because I’ve done everything I can to bridge the gap and encourage his father to be a part of his life. But he’s totally absent. Only visits maybe 20hrs a month sometimes less. Can you give […]
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Many moms tell me that their ex simply won’t collaborate with them. It breaks my heart to see people who are otherwise mentally stable, intelligent people refuse to put their own resentments aside in service of what might truly be best for their children. {I also have a lot of women come to me who are divorcing malignant narcissists, and […]
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Co-Parenting Divorce Motherhood
When I became pregnant, I had just lost my job managing a successful fitness studio that was being financially mismanaged. I was also an actor, and while I still had to have a day-job (as most of us do), I’d been doing pretty well in theatre and television most of my life. I started my acting career when I was […]
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Holidays in divorce can suck holy hell. There’s the loneliness factor, the confusion factor, the “Fuck-do-I-really-have-to-collaborate-with-the-one-person-who-stresses-me-out-the-most?” factor. There’s the who’s-traveling-when factor, the “But-will-I-still-get-to-see-my-in-laws?” factor, the “Who-do-I-buy-presents-for-now?” factor. And the worst factor of all: Will I wake up alone on Christmas morning? While I can’t answer all of these questions for you specifically, there are a few ways you can make […]
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OK, so you’ve met a new guy (because you are all that and a bag o’ chips) and it seems like this new relationship might actually be going well. Your next big question is, how do you know when to introduce him to your kids? At some point it will be nice to ease into a more relaxed kind of […]
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One of the most common reasons people stay in miserable marriages is for their children. When I was trying to decide whether to stay or go my husband and I were in couples therapy, group couples therapy (yes, that’s a thing).I was also in my own therapy with another therapist, as was my husband. And we were both in 12-Step […]
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Whether your split is amicable or not, if you’re separating from a mentally stable, otherwise reasonable person, there are steps you can take to keep it from going completely off the rails. Conversely, there are ways that the system is set up to be sure that it does… and all those ways benefit the system itself. When I first split […]
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