This encore episode features passionate human rights advocate Annette Oltmans, and we’re talking about covert emotional abuse, one of the most insidious and overlooked forms of domestic violence. If you’re in it, have been through it, or suspect something’s not right in your relationship, this is one you don’t want to miss (or re-listen to).

Annette shares her personal experience of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage, along with what she’s learned through years of recovery and deep field research. Her work around Original Abuse and Double Abuse® led her to found The M3ND Project in 2016, an organization dedicated to helping survivors name what’s happening and start to heal.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project 
• Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective
• Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking
• Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress 
• Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy 

Learn more about Annette Oltmans:

Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, “Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities”.

Resources & Links:

Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach
Kate on Facebook
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage

The M3nd Project Website
Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project
The M3ND Project on Facebook
The M3ND Project on Instagram
The M3nd Project on YouTube
The M3nd Project on Twitter

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.