Telling your husband you want a divorce is undoubtedly the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, and getting it right can set the tone for your entire divorce process.Getting it wrong can add layers of toxicity that could take years to clean up.The most important thing for you to know at this juncture is that this is not a […]
Read More
Well, isn’t this a pickle? There’s a fucking pandemic just as you’re trying to figure out whether to stay or go, or have made the decision to go, and suddenly all your plans are up in smoke and you’re not quite sure WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. Join the club, mama. My ex and I are in deep negotiations about […]
Read More
Mother’s Day can be a big fat joke for many moms. There are usually a slew of complaints, from “I have to do all the work” to “my kids just whine and cry all day.” But what I hear over and over again in the community of divorced moms I work with is that their exes don’t do a good […]
Read More
After our split, my ex and I had some big decisions to make, chief among them, who was going to keep the house. Rather than make a sudden move and make our son transition multiple times we decided to stay in the house together-but-separated until we could figure out the logistics of who was going to stay and who was […]
Read More
Many marital issues can be worked through, and many of them simply can’t. If you have two people who want the marriage to work, and two people who are really willing to do the work to heal the marriage, it is possible (although not a guarantee) that you can make this work. And… it is still true that too much […]
Read More
I remember my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce. My ex had a girlfriend, and the guy I’d been seeing had dumped me a month before on a trip to Big Bear, hours before having to drive down the windy mountain in a rainstorm. We hadn’t had breakfast (because get me the fuck off this mountain), and I’m really sensitive […]
Read More
After our divorce, while we each dated other people, my ex and I still did holidays together, went to the theatre together, and had family dinners together. After all we’d been through we were now close, and as he began to date I took on the awkward yet esteemed role of First Wife. I’d befriend his girlfriends. Partly because it […]
Read More
I just binge-watched Big Little Lies, and holy crap is it as good as everyone said it was. I was a little bit of a snot about it since I’d read the book years ago, and screen adaptations of books tend to leave a devoted reader feeling less than satisfied, but in this case, the tv series blew the book […]
Read More
Co-Parenting Divorce Single Motherhood
Recently an anonymous reader asked: My son often asks for his daddy. I don’t know what to say to him. It breaks my heart because I’ve done everything I can to bridge the gap and encourage his father to be a part of his life. But he’s totally absent. Only visits maybe 20hrs a month sometimes less. Can you give […]
Read More
Many moms tell me that their ex simply won’t collaborate with them. It breaks my heart to see people who are otherwise mentally stable, intelligent people refuse to put their own resentments aside in service of what might truly be best for their children. {I also have a lot of women come to me who are divorcing malignant narcissists, and […]
Read More