Yep. I’m going there…Talking about betrayal can feel — well, taboo as hell. That’s because it’s typically been shoved under the rug.But the experience is so universal, right?! As a collective, why aren’t we talking about this more openly?Thankfully, there are voices out there working hard to destigmatize betrayal recovery and empower countless women along the way. Gilza Fort Martinez is […]
Read More
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it…There are a lot of bad therapists out there.Think about it — almost anyone can obtain a license in a therapy program (as long as they have the money to shell out for one).And yet, we’re eagerly placing our mental health in their hands. We’re sharing our most vulnerable moments with these people […]
Read More
What do you do if your spouse won’t go to therapy, you’re not ready to be done, but you need to make some changes to your relationship if it’s going to have any shot of lasting?Can you work on things on your own?I recently spoke with a client whose husband had a very legitimate trauma stemming from being forced into […]
Read More
Whether you made this decision or it was made for you, here you are. So what do you do now? Lawyer up, right? 🙅🏼♀️ Wrong 🙅🏼♀️ “Lawyer up” is the most dangerous advice you can take from anyone, especially someone who doesn’t know the ins and outs of your specific marriage and divorce. As soon as you “lawyer up” you […]
Read More
Telling your husband you want a divorce is undoubtedly the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, and getting it right can set the tone for your entire divorce process.Getting it wrong can add layers of toxicity that could take years to clean up.The most important thing for you to know at this juncture is that this is not a […]
Read More
Well, isn’t this a pickle? There’s a fucking pandemic just as you’re trying to figure out whether to stay or go, or have made the decision to go, and suddenly all your plans are up in smoke and you’re not quite sure WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. Join the club, mama. My ex and I are in deep negotiations about […]
Read More
Mother’s Day can be a big fat joke for many moms. There are usually a slew of complaints, from “I have to do all the work” to “my kids just whine and cry all day.” But what I hear over and over again in the community of divorced moms I work with is that their exes don’t do a good […]
Read More
After our split, my ex and I had some big decisions to make, chief among them, who was going to keep the house. Rather than make a sudden move and make our son transition multiple times we decided to stay in the house together-but-separated until we could figure out the logistics of who was going to stay and who was […]
Read More
Many marital issues can be worked through, and many of them simply can’t. If you have two people who want the marriage to work, and two people who are really willing to do the work to heal the marriage, it is possible (although not a guarantee) that you can make this work. And… it is still true that too much […]
Read More
I remember my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce. My ex had a girlfriend, and the guy I’d been seeing had dumped me a month before on a trip to Big Bear, hours before having to drive down the windy mountain in a rainstorm. We hadn’t had breakfast (because get me the fuck off this mountain), and I’m really sensitive […]
Read More