This week I am so excited to introduce you to Cynthia Loy Darst.  Cynthia is a Co-Active Coach, relationship worker and keynote speaker. She is also the author of the book, Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life. Cynthia holds a very special place in my heart. She was my first coach and mentor when I began my own coaching journey. The entire foundation for what I do today, I owe to her. Having her on my podcast is such a special treat.

So do you ever have that inner voice that says, “Who the hell do you think you are?,”  when you are about to make a massive change (like say… divorce)? It’s a nasty voice, one you don’t want to hear.  Well in this episode Cynthia teaches us how to turn towards that inner voice ( which she calls the inner bully) and ask it, with compassion, “What do you need? What’s going on here?” She teaches us how to slow down our inner dialogue and start to find our way forward with kindness, clarity, and grace. In addition we talk about navigating myth change (moving from one phase of life to the next), transitioning relationships and grieving the disappointed dream. This week’s episode is definitely one that asks you to look inward and do the work to uncover the many aspects of yourself.

Show Highlights

  • The concept of her new book, Meet Your Inside Team and the importance of slowing down your inner dialogue (10:21)

  • Tuning into the players that make up your inside team (aka inner dialogue) (13:34)

  • Knowing when to slow down and listen to your inside team (15:26)

  • Grounding yourself in your adult self and listening without getting freaked out (22:27)

  • Cynthia shares some examples of exercises you can find in the book Meet Your Inside Team that will help uncover your different inside team players (27:30)

  • Being curious and the importance of curiosity for each player (28:54)

  • How to stay in an objective frame in mind when you are scared or triggered (29:58)

  • Honoring the process of divorce (42:20)

  • Transitioning relationships and myth change; when we change a narrative there is something we gain and something we lose (44:11)

  • The disappointed dream: mourning the loss of the dream and myth change (49:35)

  • Any large transition like divorce requires a lot of patience (55:22)


Should I Stay or Should I Go?


Learn More About Cynthia:

Cynthia Loy Darst is a Co-Active Coach, a relationship worker, keynote speaker, author, provocateur (emcee), course leader, coach trainer, talent scout, leader developer & trainer, team and large group facilitator, business consultant, media guest, and workshop creator. She has been a Front of the Room Leader for CTI (The Coaches Training Institute) and CRR Global, since each of them began, and has played an active role in leader development for both schools.

Whether she is  working with individuals, partnerships, leaders or teams, she is  always focused on awareness, growth, and development. Cynthia works with people from all walks of life: CEOs to chiropractors, singers to Silicon Valley pros, teams that produce documentaries to sales teams in the insurance industry.  She loves to explore their unique strengths and challenges and work with them to become ever more effective in their work and their world.


Cynthia’s website:
Cynthia on social media: Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter
Team Darst on social media: Facebook
Cynthia’s TEDx Talk: Safe Inside Yourself
Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life