October 1st marked the beginning of domestic violence awareness month. On September 30th, I learned that a member of my Facebook community was murdered by her boyfriend, who then turned the gun on himself. There are 11 murder-suicides rooted in domestic violence per week in the United States, so I decided to focus this week’s episode on the epidemic of domestic violence and shed light on it with some of my thoughts on how we can attempt to move beyond this in our society. Unfortunately, when I am educating victims, it is already too late.

In this episode, I talk about spreading awareness about raising our children to express their pain and feelings in a safe way, what to do if a co-parent is exhibiting toxic behavior, and the importance of educating yourself on domestic violence and abusive patterns or behaviors.

Episode highlights:

  • If you are in a toxic relationship where you feel unsafe, create a safety plan before you leave. 75% of domestic homicides occur when a person leaves an abusive relationship.
  • I share precisely how to create a safety plan
  • The importance of healing and doing trauma work after getting out of an abusive relationship

Resources & Links:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or TheHotline.org
Non-violent parenting classes
Safety plan outline
Leanne Oaten


The M3ND Project’s mission is to bring clarity and validation to victims and survivors and to provide tools and resources for those who are responding to abuse.

Annette Oltmans founded The M3ND Project coming out of her own experience as a survivor of emotional abuse and double abuse and after years of researching academic materials and personally interviewing hundreds of abuse survivors, therapists, and faith leaders. M3ND does this by providing various educational resources and training courses.

Sometimes, it can be hard to articulate what you are going through when you try to reach out to a friend or therapist for help, and it can make you feel crazy. As a survivor, I remember feeling this way. When I first came across Mend’s Terms and Definitions tool, which names and explains covert abusive tactics, it was SO validating and illuminating.

M3ND wants to share this resource with The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners for free!! Go get this tool that I think is so essential:

Grab M3ND’s Terms and Definitions Tool: https://kateanthony.com/mend