The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episode #108

DSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent

Episode 108: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy

with Bill Eddy

About This Episode

This week we are discussing how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. Joining me is my guest Bill Eddy. Bill is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill is also the author of BIFF™: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, and the just-released, BIFF For Coparent Communication. If you are in any kind of high-conflict situation, you need this book. Seriously. 

During our conversation, Bill shares his expertise along with tips and techniques to help maneuver difficult co-parent texts, emails, and social media posts. Whether you are in a high-conflict co-parent situation or simply co-parenting with an ex, this episode is full of valuable information you can put to use immediately.

Learn more about Bill Eddy:

Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years’ experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries and is the author or co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

  • High-conflict personalities and keeping high-conflict divorce out of the courtroom.
  • How Bill developed the method of communication he uses in high-conflict situations.
  • Why it is important to be brief when writing emails or written correspondence with a co-parent. 
  • Why you should avoid labeling a co-parent as a blame speaker, high-conflict person, or as someone who has a personality disorder. Plus, what you can do instead. 
  • Some techniques to help turn a high-conflict situation around or at least defuse one.
  • The art of learning how and when to take a PAUSE.
  • How to get information to a co-parent, in a friendly tone, and then end the conversation. 

Disclaimer

The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Want More Support?

Many listeners start with the podcast—and at some point realize they want more support while they’re actually in the middle of divorce.

It’s a place to get faster clarity, strategic guidance in real time, and support while you move through the legal, emotional, and logistical realities of divorce—so you’re not trying to figure it all out alone.

Divorce is hard.

High-conflict divorce is a different beast.

Phoenix Rising gives you the strategy, support, and community you need to navigate divorce with more clarity, confidence, and steadiness. You don’t have to figure this out alone.