This episode is a fun twist. Alyssa Dineen of Style My Profile and Jennie Young of Burned Haystack Dating Method are back, but this time they’re interviewing me. I’m in the hot seat as we dive into how their work completely shifted my experience re-entering the dating world, what I did differently this time, and how I met my partner, Ethan.

I was done with dating. D.O.N.E. I was perfectly content on my own, independent and fulfilled. But I’m also human. I wanted love, connection, and partnership. What I wasn’t willing to do was settle for anything less than something truly extraordinary. This conversation is a behind-the-scenes look at what changed and what becomes possible when you lead with intention, use the right tools, and hold out for the real thing.

Here’s what else we discuss in this episode:

• Why I felt stuck in a dating loop for eight years and what finally shifted after interviewing and then working with Alyssa and Jennie (9:10)
• How intentional profile choices and using the Burned Haystack Method changed everything on the apps (11:51)
• Matching with my “needle”: Ethan’s profile stood out with pink shorts, shared values, and genuine communication. And let’s not forget those EYES!! (30:23)
• What it’s been like to break all the so-called rules and build something secure, drama-free, and full of intention after years of doing the work (52:07)

Learn more about Alyssa Dineen: With over 25 years of experience as a fashion editor, stylist, and art director, Alyssa established herself as a seasoned leader in the New York fashion world. In the past decade, Alyssa has also emerged as a pioneering figure in the online dating space. Her innovative approach combines her expertise in styling with her insights into dating, guiding clients on everything from personal presentation to effective communication with potential partners.

As an acclaimed dating expert, Alyssa has been featured in The New York Times, Today Show, Goop, and Oprah Daily. She is also the author of The Art of Online Dating published by Harper Collins in 2021, which offers valuable strategies for success in online dating. You can find more information about Alyssa and Style My Profile’s services at stylemyprofilenyc.com.

Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney’s, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others.

Resources & Links:

Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures
Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate 
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective

Kate’s Dating Profile (video)
Blog post about deal breakers vs preferences 

Episode 309: Online Dating After Divorce with Alyssa Dineen
Style My Profile website
Alyssa on Instagram
Alyssa’s Facebook Group

Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young
Jennie’s website
Jennie’s Facebook Group
Jennie on Instagram

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