This week my colleague Lindsey Ellison is joining me to talk all about how to co-parent with a narcissist.

Lindsey is the author of the book, MAGIC Words: How To Get What You Want From a Narcissist.

If you have an ex who’s a narcissist, you’ve probably read every book out there about communicating with one. And the advice always given is, go no contact. But for those of us who have to actually co-parent with a narcissist, that’s not an option.

So what do you do if you have to continue to have a relationship with someone with whom you’ve struggled to have a relationship for, like, ever?

In this episode, Lindsey and I discuss her step-by-step formula for creating a communication plan and script of empowering magic words that can help neutralize the power struggle that you have when you are co-parenting with a narcissist. She details exactly what to do, how to do it, and why it works. After you listen to this episode (and maybe even grab her book) you’ll be armed with information you can use to engage with your narcissistic ex with confidence and authenticity.

Show Highlights

  • Lindsey’s divorce story, how we’re divorce twins and when she realized she was married to a narcissist (4:00)

  • What drove Lindsey to write a book about narcissism (7:27)

  • No contact messaging and why it’s confusing (10:12)

  • Act as though every engagement with your narcissistic ex as if it were a business transaction (11:09)

  • Realizing you are the CEO of your life, the captain of your ship and in charge (12:53)

  • Lindsey’s book and the MAGIC formula for getting what you want from a narcissist (17:45)

  • You can have guarded compassion and boundaries with empathy (24:04)

  • Assessing their fears and mapping their persona; and why doing so is in service to your children (27:06)

  • The importance of identifying goals in every engagement you have (28:17)

  • Narcissists and mom issues and how nurturing phrases can help with communication (31:03)

  • Providing your children with the tools to empower them and help them communicate with a narcissistic parent, without labeling the parent as one (to your children) (46:33)

  • Breaking the cycle of narcissism (45:53)

Learn More About Lindsey:

Lindsey Ellison is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc. She helps people navigate their divorce or break-up and also helps people break free from narcissistic abuse. Her newest book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist, offers a step-by-step formula on how to create a communication plan, and provides a script of empowering “magic” words that can neutralize the power struggle.


Lindsey on Facebook:

Lindsey on Twitter:

Lindsey on YouTube:

Her book, MAGIC Words: How To Get What You Want From a Narcissist:

Unbreakable You: Break Up Without Being Broken Podcast: