Divorce is overwhelming under the best of circumstances. Add ADHD, trauma, or a high-conflict ex into the mix, and it can feel impossible to keep your head above water. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to “do divorce” the way the system expects you to—and you don’t have to do it alone. This is where divorce coaching for women becomes not just helpful, but transformative.

One of the biggest challenges for neurodivergent women in divorce is that the legal process assumes everyone can manage logistics, paperwork, and deadlines with ease. If you’re struggling with executive function or living in a state of hypervigilance due to trauma, those expectations can feel crushing. Tracy Otsuka, an expert in ADHD in women and author of ADHD for Smart Ass Women, said on my podcast recently, “You have a right to accommodations even in divorce. You’re allowed to ask for clarity, to request breaks, and to have communication in writing so you have time to process.”

Divorce coaching bridges the gap between therapy and legal representation. While therapy helps you heal and your attorney manages the law, a divorce coach helps you navigate the practical and emotional chaos in real time. For women with ADHD or trauma histories, this scaffolding is essential. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about building consistency and stability, the very things courts value most.

Why divorce coaching for women with ADHD matters

Many women don’t even realize they have ADHD until midlife, often triggered by hormonal shifts during perimenopause or menopause. Others may mistake trauma responses—forgetfulness, disorganization, shutting down—for signs of ADHD. Sometimes both are present, which makes everything harder.

Divorce coaching provides a structured space to sort through the fog, prioritize what matters, and create systems that actually work for your brain. Instead of trying to force yourself into strategies that don’t stick, you learn how to design supports tailored to your needs. That might mean using tech tools to track custody exchanges, setting layered reminders for appointments, or leaning on your coach to help document communication with an abusive ex.

Breaking free from shame and stereotypes

Women are judged more harshly than men for falling short of unrealistic standards. A dad who forgets a school pickup is “busy.” A mom who forgets is labeled “irresponsible.” Add ADHD into the mix, and it’s all too easy to internalize the message that you’re failing. Divorce coaching helps you reclaim the narrative. You get to own your story, highlight your strengths, and show up in court—and in life—with confidence.

As Otsuka says, “I don’t know better parents than women with ADHD. What makes a good parent isn’t a spotless house or perfect paperwork. It’s emotional connection and making your child feel safe.”

Divorce coaching as your lifeline

Divorce is not just a legal event—it’s a full-body, full-brain upheaval. If you’re neurodivergent or navigating trauma, trying to go it alone sets you up for overwhelm. Divorce coaching gives you clarity, structure, and support to move from survival to stability. You don’t have to do it perfectly—you just have to keep moving forward, with the right scaffolding around you.

Looking for support? I offer a few ways to work privately with me. Check them out here.